Stanley/Mask pulls out a clock and announces it's exactly two seconds before he honks his nose and pulls his underwear over his head. The clock chimes, and he does exactly that. Stanley/Mask shoves punker #1 into the other gang members and taunts them to chase him as the Mask races around the corner. The Death's Heads pull out nasty homemade weapons and race around the corner into the alleyway.
Alley: The Death's Head punker come to a screeching halt as they discover Stanley/Mask dressed as a carnival barker. Multicolored lights and Calliope music come from out of nowhere. Balloons appear in Stanley/Mask's hands and he instantly goes into a frenzy of twisting and knotting them into an elaborate balloon sculpture. Squeak, squeak, screech.
The Death's Heads are too stunned by the severe weirdness of all this to do anything but stand there and stare. (These guys were no rocket scientists in the first place.) Stanley creates a first rate balloon giraffe sculpture and hands it to the biggest, dumbest Death's Head, who grins like a little kid upon receiving it. Stanley/Mask reaches for another balloon and actually pulls out a condom, "sorry kid, wrong pocket," he jokes.
The Mask instantly goes into another flurry of motion, sculpting more balloons. Screech, pop. He hands this next prize to Death's Head #3, a French poodle. The punk gives a childish smile and then turns frowny face when the balloon pops. "Sorry kid, the dog was rabid, I had to put it down," Stanley Mask replies. And finally his favorite... He goes into another flurry of motion. The Mask pulls the ends of the knotted balloon, it straightens out and morphs into a Tommy gun, a real one.
Stanley/Mask immediately sprays the Death's Heads with hot lead. RATATATATATAT! The greasy punkers dive for cover and scramble out of the alley under a hail of bullets. Stanley/Mask tosses the gun aside, intoxicated with his newfound powers. It dawns on him that with these powers, he could be a . . . superhero! But first . . .
Ripley Auto Finishing: It's late, but there's still a light on inside. Burt and Irv, both woozy from drink. Empty beer bottles and two half eaten chili dogs adorn the table. They are chuckling it up in their usual obnoxious fashion. Suddenly the front door explodes inward. Stanley/Mask stands there like a gunfighter from a Clint Eastwood movie. There's a mad gleam in his eyes.
He's holding two gleaming mufflers and announces it's time for an overhaul. Burt and Irv's eyes go wide and they inch back in fear. Stanley/Mask whirls about with a flourish, twirling out of frame like a human tornado. The garage's light bulb jiggles on its wire. We can't see the mayhem, but we can hear wacky/bizarre sounds as the Mask whirls about the garage. And we hear Burt and Irv's screams. The light bulb becomes the morning sun peaking over Edge City's skyline.
Stanley's apartment, dawn: Stanley slowly awakens. He grabs his head and moans, looking and feeling completely hung over. Then suddenly he remembers - and jumps out of bed with a start. He looks in the mirror, touching his face. It's the same old Stanley. He picks up the mask. Same old mask. He's relieved it was just a dream. Stanley starts to relax. There's a knock at the door. He opens the door and Stanley's greeted by world-weary Edge City detective Lieutenant Kellaway (Peter Riegert), fifty.
This hound-dog of a cop can't help but stare at Stanley's garish pajamas. Kellaway confirms he is Stanley Ipkiss and questions him about the prowler who broke in and attacked Mrs. Peenman. Stanley insists he heard nothing, which Kellaway finds unbelievable considering that Mrs. Peenman unloaded a couple rounds of 20 ott buckshot five feet from his door. Stanley takes a step into the hall to get a better view of the damage. Mrs. Peenman stands there in the hall tearfully speaking to another officer.
Stanley is flabbergasted to see shotgun blasts in the walls and the pot holes left from the mallet. All flashbacks from last night. Stanley finds all this impossible. Stanley quickly pulls himself together and starts making excuses about having an inner ear problem (wiggles a finger in his ear vigorously). Kellaway shoots him a dirty look and hands Stanley his card. He requests Stanley to call him if he remembers anything unusual about last night. Stanley takes the card, offers words of good luck to Kelleway and shuts the door.
Stanley stands at the door, dumbfounded, his heart pounding in his chest. He suddenly notices the clock on the wall and realizes he's late for work. Stanley rushes around the apartment, but he can't find his keys anywhere. He finishes getting dressed and instructs Milo to find the keys. Milo's ears prick. He leaps up and immediately starts sniffing around. He pulls a cushion off the sofa and emerges with the keys just as Stanley turns, briefcase in hand. He commends Milo, takes his keys after a brief tug of war with the dog and starts out the door.
Then he pauses to take a last look at the mask... It's eerie black eye holes and devilish grin seem to mock him. On sudden impulse, he grabs it, hurls it out the balcony's sliding glass door and exits. The Masks sails end over end through the air. As the mask flies out into the sir, a sudden wind kicks up. The mask arcs back toward the building like a boomerang, reentering Stanley's apartment window and lands precariously on his sofa. Its mocking grin seems to glow with triumph.
Ripley Auto Finishing: The place looks like it's been hit by cartoon graffiti guerrillas: Everything's printed in polka-dots, checks, tartan, etc. The "Ripley Auto Finishing" sign hangs askew over the doorway. Letters have been sprayed out to read "Rip Off." Several reporters and curious onlookers stand nearby as Kellaway and his men take it all in. Paramedics appear wheeling Burt and Irv out of the building on two gurneys.
They're both in severe discomfort and look more like cars than men: Bodies spray painted metallic colors and gleaming four foot long mufflers sticking out of their rear ends. They wince in pain at each tiny bump of the gurney. Paramedic #3 speaks into his emergency radio-phone as Burt and Irv are loaded into the van, ordering a proctologist standing by. The dispatcher on the other end can't believe what he requested. He's barks he's not joking and wants the best one they can find.
Peggy Brandt (Amy Yasbeck), an attractive young woman in her mid twenties and a reporter for The Evening Star, is among the other reporters. She approaches Kellaway and tries to get a scoop on the crime scene from Kellaway, but he gives her nothing. Kellaway orders the officers to clear the reporters from the scene. As the officers disperse the reporters and other onlookers, Peggy slips away from the group and heads inside the garage.
Edge City Bank: Stanley, still looking rumpled and unshaven, hurriedly races towards his desk. Charlie approaches and questions him what happened to him last night. Him and the girls were looking all over for him. With a tone of digust, Stanley replies he should have looked outside, in the gutter. Charlie quickly changes the subject, holding up a newspaper showing a great review for his 'girlfriend,' Tina. There's a close-up of Tina singing her heart out with the headline "Bombshell Explodes at Coco Bongo."
Mr. Dickey (Eamonn Roche), the smarmy office manager who is younger than Stanley, now appears. His father owns the bank and Dickey is pretty much a rich little creep. Dickey snaps at Stanley for being forty minutes late. Stanley stumbles with apologies assures him it won't happen again.
Dickey snatches the newspaper and makes a sarcastic comment that he might get some work done if he wasn't so busy ogling girlie pictures. Charlie chimes in that Tina is Stanley's prospective client. Dickey's attitude changes, and remarks that next time she comes in, Stanley is to send her directly to his office. Dickey hands the paper back to Stanley and marches off through the bank.
When Stanley wonders if she will ever come back, Charlie quips he should forget about her. A girl like that is always looking for the B.B.D. The bigger better deal. Stanley defensively stands up for her, stating she's an artist. Charlie's not buying it and advises Stanley he needs someone a little more down to earth.
Someone with... red hair, full pouty lips, a white blouse, a green jacket, and a name tag. Stanley gives Charlie an odd look and comments about the accurate description. We then see he was describing Peggy Brandt, looking sharp and pretty as she approaches.
Charlie rises, puts on a smile, and offers assistance. But she's there to see Stanley. Charlie begrudgingly points to Stanley. She introduces herself and wants to ask him a few questions about Ripley Auto Finishing, starting with he's a customer of theirs.
Stanley denies it and claims he doesn't even have a car. She produces a form that confirms Stanley owns a Civic that was there at the garage. Stanley nervously chuckles and gives a flimsy excuse of forgetting that. He asks her for her name again, when she responds, he realizes she is Peggy Brandt of "Ask Peggy.
She smiles and confirms that's right. Stanley brightens up, she had printed his letter last year, "Nice Guys Finish Last." She's intrigued that Stanley is Mr. Nice Guy and tells him of all the mail they got about that letter. There's hundreds of women out there who are looking for a man just like him. Stanley is in disbelief but flattered. He wonders why she is covering this story.
She replies that Ask Peggy didn't pay dick, and she's determined to become a real reporter. She pleads with him to give her the truth, he claims he wants to help her but offers her nothing. She hands him a card to call her if he thinks of anything. With a flirty smile, she mentions that another number on the card is her "personal number" and she nervously hurries off.
Niko's quarters: Niko is practicing golf shots on an electronic golf simulation. Two of Niko's henchmen forcefully escort Dorian into the room. Niko greets him, Dorian is not pleased of being dragged to Niko's place.
Niko gives his henchmen a look, a cue. The henchmen grab Dorian and force him down on the patch of astro turf where Niko was practicing his golf shots.
One of the henchmen sticks a golf tee in Dorian's mouth, but he spits it out. The henchmen puts a gun to his temple and sticks another golf tee in his mouth. They place a golf ball on the tee as Niko gently swings a golf club near his face.